Doll

You become vulnerable and porcelain, and they hold you between their fingers. And my God you are hoping they are holding you tight; because at any moment you might fall and smash into a million little pieces. They might slip up for a second, or maybe they cast you away without a single care. Either way, you end up hurting.
You find your alone; putting yourself together and giving them the benefit of the doubt. You pretend that they lost their grip for a moment. That they didn’t mean to break you. It was just a senseless mistake.
Although; once they let you fall it’s never quite the same. The cracks are constant reminders of the pain that they put you through and probably will continue to.
But you still make excuses for them because all you ever wanted was somebody to hold your hand.

You want to be the first one to walk away; but you just don’t know when to turn your back.

Sarah & Michael

Your hair’s shorter /  It, it suits you. / Oh I don’t really...I tagged along with Beth, she knows him / I didn’t expect you to be here... /

Do you remember the honeysuckle tree we carved our names in; Sarah and Michael forever? I scratched it out for you. I changed it to Sarah loves Michael forever.  / Yeah, I know... / I just didn’t think you would fall out of love with me. /

I’m okay. / At least that’s what I tell everyone. I must of said it 43 times today, well 44 now. / I can't lie to you though, I never could. Your my weakness... / I'm never okay anymore.

You gave me an Orchid on our first date and said it meant rare beauty, and it reminded you of me. / I would of given you an Oleander, you know. Because you’re poisonous, and your killing me.

Look, I'm sorry...just...Why her? I thought we were special, I thought it was you and me. Now it’s you and her. How can you tell me that when your with her?  Huh? I can’t talk to anyone, I can’t ever talk to anyone. I want to talk to you though, I want to tell you all my stories from when I went to Africa and played with baby lion cubs, and I want to tell you that I got an A in maths. I want to ask you how you are, and if you won your soccer finals. It’s been too long...

You better get back to her. / I’m okay, aren’t I? I can still smile.

2010 Monologue