shot of fire

i.
you once told me you don't ever want to dream, you said you wouldn't live to see thirty.
i told you i am a dreamer, and that i'll live forever.

ii.
the next time i saw you, you reached for the stars.
you swore you learnt how to dream.
i knew you were lying through your pin prick eyes,
but i pretended to play your game.

iii.
a shot of heroin gave you the chance to fly,
it gave you freedom, and love, and hope.
it filled your soul with fire.
i could only wait for you to burn out,
and i'd be the one collecting your ashes.

iv.
you never did live to see thirty.

- 2009

beauty's scene.

industrial virus.
the sound to your ears is nothing but a fashion crisis.
nothing but a cool scene.
the beauty is in your bones, not in your eyes.
the beauty is in the fake, the lies and highs.

- 2008

Home.

The wall is like one giant mirror, a dull blue shade with rainbow scattered throughout. But it doesn't show reflection, it's not a mirror to see yourself in; but I could see the music. The CDs hung on the wall side by side delicately, forming one giant masterpiece; it was the first thing my eyes were drawn to and almost overwelmed by.
I can smell lavender, the dark air is foggy with the scent. As the smell of the flower penetrates my nostrils and fills my lungs my eyes wander onto the other 3 walls decorated by the magic of sound.
The Black Keys. Vampire Weekend. Kings Of Leon. The Dandy Warhols. Kurt Cobain. The Vines. Gorillaz. Fleet Foxes. The Beatles. Angus & Julia Stone. The Ramones. Iggy Pop. The White Stripes. Iron And Wine. TV On The Radio. The Drones. Blink 182.
Her room was a shrine made to the love of music.

- 2010.

Rejection.

"Just leave me alone,"
She begged me while her tears ran.
Rejection pierced me.

-2010. Haiku Poetry.

Heart Holding.

He held my hand tight.
Palm to palm. Heart to heart. Love.
I held his hand tight.

-2010. Haiku Poetry.

xoxo

...and i didn't even know his name.
it was wild.
it felt like fire.
later that night i killed him.
i took his money and i bought shoes.

no pants.
no hat.
no socks.
no shirt.
just knickers and my new pumps.

xoxo

- 2010

Spiders

I remember as if it was yesterday, when you held my hand and held my heart. You promised you will never let go, and you swore lies never danced off your tongue.

Your hands were like spiders, crawling around my waist and down my thighs; baby, didn't you know that spiders haunted my dreams? You didn't know much.

You spoke of freedom and love and life, but you made it all up to catch me in your web, to catch me in your lies. You knew nothing of love but you liked to pretend, and the freedom you swore was an excuse for the sea.

The life inside you was not life at all, it was as dead as a corpse and blackened, you whore. But now it's tomorrow and I can stop with these games of pretending to love you, I danced with lies too.

- 2009

summer drum.

you promised to take me dancing,
to that kooky pop tune -
the one with the distorted guitar and stepping melody.

we pretended that we were in the sixties.
we pretended that we were dancing for each other.

i was dancing with time, and you were dancing with lust.
the hands of the clock struck as yours struck all over me.
you felt me and you held me, you kissed me and smothered me.

our young laughter staind in the humid air,
and the summer sun faded over the horizon.
we were only left with the beat of the drum,
and we danced the night away.

you promised to take me dancing,
and for a night
we pretended that we were in the sixties.

- 2009